sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
