So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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