My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
