Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize