Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize