I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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