she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize