You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
