I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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