dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
