Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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