Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
