I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Four minutes until I can fart!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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