Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
