I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
