my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
