Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
