Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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