considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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