We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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