next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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