seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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