i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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