what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
