dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i think i just lost a toe
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
