Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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