Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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