I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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