So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
