haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
