hotel room ftw
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
