somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
