508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
