how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
