I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your shirt... Was in my pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
