He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
