when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
