I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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