is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
