brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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