i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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