no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
