just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My cat gives me a boner
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
