over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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