i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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