Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
