I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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