Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
