He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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