You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
