Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
