she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
