i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
