i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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