he shaved USA in his pubs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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