I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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