It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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