It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
