There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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