I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
