You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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