My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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