my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
