having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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