just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
