the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
smell my finger.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
