There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
North Korea, Best Korea!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize