We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
3 2 1 whiskey
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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