My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
