yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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