Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
