remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
