I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize