sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
