garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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